Cameras Really Do Steal Your Soul

Honey, I Shrunk the Audience (Epcot)

We're standing in a darkened anteroom, squished like cattle, captive to the spectacle on the little TV screens. And then it begins. The story of a lost dog, filmed in soft focus so that the boy's every anguished tear glistens in the warm sun. The neighbor hasn't seen the dog, although his gaze lingers creepily long on the boy. The parents haven't seen the dog, either. Neither has the mailman ... although the dog later tackles him on his way to a successful reunion with the boy. Words flash on the screen: the Kodak logo and something about the power of imagination. And I'm wondering, is this a commercial? Before a Disney attraction? 

At least it's over, right? No, it's not. As Nate fidgets beside me and complains that he doesn't like this ride, the screens show us a wedding, also in soft focus, so we don't forget to become emotionally involved in between glances at our watch. There's another little boy, and a frog, and a ruined family photo, which the family later gathers to watch on a TV screen in their living room, laughing and cringing and essentially commanding us to we care about their adorable foibles. And I'm thinking, what the hell? 

Later, Jenn points out that everything at Disney is an ad, noting that we're both wearing brand-new $54 WDW sweatshirts. I get that; I mean, Chip and Dale were literally picking Nate's pockets, as if to drive home the point. But if a sponsor must dominate a preshow, why not follow the model of, say, General Motors, which opens the Test Track experience by unobtrusively letting the charming Bill and Sherry explain how GM tests cars? See, it prepares you for the ride, plugs the company, and doesn't scream, hey, I'm a 10-minute Kodak commercial!  And, by extension, it doesn't make you decide, right there on the spot, that you will never again, as long as you live, purchase another Kodak product, because you will always remember the little bit of your spirit that withered and died when you were trapped in a room and forced, Clockwork Orange-style, to share in the grotesque adventures of a dog, a frog, and an evil advertising agency, as they cheerfully picked clean your soul.

Oh, and there's also a crappy 3-D show with Rick Moranis.

Comments

[Dawn]

Yep, almost all the attractions on the FutureWorld side of Epcot have corporate sponsors. Some are much more in your face than others. The better ones are so subtly integrated, you almost forget it's an advertisement. Others are at the end of the attraction & can be easily by-passed. The Kodak one holds you captive though. AND NO SITTING DOWN!! The worst one though? After IllumiNations, the giant Siemens logo projected onto Spaceship Earth. Ugh!

I think that Honey I Shrunk the Audience is by far the worst of the four 3D shows.

[Joe]

Argh! I didn't notice the Siemens logo after IllumiNations! Good for us. That's just offensive.

Both Jenn and I rank the 3D shows as follows: Philharmagic, (large gap), MuppetVision and Tough to Be a Bug vying for second place, (really large gap), Honey I Watched a Kodak Ad.

[Lori]

We liked Tough to Be a Bug best, although Anna cried. But hey, she's just a baby.

[Dawn]

Philharmagic is my favorite too. By far. I like Tough to be a Bug slightly better than Muppets but only because I know the stinger is coming & it makes me laugh to see people jump. What can I say? =P