Joe's TV List Wants to Believe

#16: The X-Files
(FOX, 1993-2002)

Jenn is a wee bit baffled by The X-Files appearing on this list below Wonder Pets, but I don't see why that's so controversial. Wonder Pets, after all, finishes its stories and ties up loose ends. The baby kangaroo doesn't get reunited with its mother only to discover an alien implant in its neck, which is intriguing for awhile and then forgotten about, so that, after the series finale (plot: Tuck drowns when his sink fills with black oil), we're like, "so, what about the baby kangaroo's neck implant?" And years later, the emu shows up on Men in Trees as a pastor. This could be why Mark Snow -- really -- agreed to compose music for the recent Wonder Pets "Save the Visitor" episode, about a lost extraterrestrial: because he wanted to work on something with, you know, closure. On the other hand, the pets never saved a baby flukeman, a baby shape-shifter, or a blight of murderous baby cockroaches. Or even "three baby Peacocks..." "...whose Mommy's stuffed under the bed..." "...this is sewious..." Any of which would certainly have improved the adventures of our classroom heroes, granted. And, sure, The X-Files ran a lot longer than Wonder Pets has so far, and produced some really classic, creepy moments. But then I think of one evening in the spring of 2002, when, with the series finale looming the following week and some 247 plot strings still dangling, Chris Carter gave us a whole hour with a guy who lives with ... wait for it ... the Brady Bunch. At that point, even Linny's head would explode. If she had a TV hookup in her cage, I mean. That's all I'm saying.