Joe's TV List Has Just One Hour

#35: Top Chef (Bravo, 2006-present);
#36: Iron Chef (Fuji, 1993-1999)

I originally cheated and had these two cookoffs listed as one entry, but my recent dismissal of Meredith Vieira's sorry ass from this countdown provided an opportunity to separate them. Had I done so before, I’d have been forced to eliminate That’s Incredible at #50, and I wasn't about to do that, because, hey, a guy ate a whole bike. Which was, sadly, never one of the featured ingredients on the original, Japanese Iron Chef, although I’m sure it received some consideration before giving way to sea urchins or natto or Fukui-san’s toenails. It was great TV, highlighted by creations like cod roe ice cream and characters like Hiroyuki Sakai, the French chef who dressed like a lobster but could never, ever properly prepare one. America tried to drop a cultural bomb on Iron Chef with an appalling, William Shatner-hosted mockery that lasted two episodes; the second attempt at a U.S. remake, truer to the original, has endured, but I’ve watched it only sporadically. Far better is Top Chef, which brews up an innovative meld of speed cooking and elimination shows like Survivor. Crankypants Tom Colicchio and the mellower ex-Mrs. Rushdie make an appealing Simon-and-Paula duo (would that make Ted Allen Randy?), while their charges walk a knife's edge between mouthwatering inspiration and laughable disaster (um, airplane broccolini, anyone?). Utensils down and fauxhawks up, the show simply cooks with adrenaline.