Joe's TV List Is Called for Illegal Use of Paws

#47: Puppy Bowl
(Animal Planet, 2005-present)

Puppy Bowl is the single greatest counterprogramming idea in the history of television. Why? Because if you don't dig a bunch of puppies rolling around for three hours on a faux football field, you are ... well, you're just a bad person. So celebrate with me the bowl cam, the random penalty flags, and the year (2006) when springer spaniels dominated the field like no one since the '85 Bears. If actually watching the Super Bowl is your thing, don't worry; Animal Planet usually runs its pooch party over the pregame, too. And if you'd pass on the puppies in favor of listening to the likes of Deion Sanders or Steve Young yapping their muzzles all afternoon, you're possibly beyond help. As are the halftime kittens, after enduring a full 30 minutes of streamers, strobes, and confetti. I think my parents are caring for one of those cats in their backyard these days. If you listen carefully through the open window at night, you can hear his gutteral, feral moans: "So bright. The flashes. No place to hide. So, so, so bright..." Suddenly, he gasps, twitches, and squeezes his eyes shut. But it doesn't stop. It never stops.

Comments

[Dawn]

//And if you'd pass on the puppies in favor of listening to the likes of Deion Sanders or Steve Young yapping their muzzles all afternoon, you're possibly beyond help.//

BAHAHAHAHA!