Disney Days, Part 1: Elephants and Spirits Soar

Hello, everyone. Nate here. Um, I’m a little annoyed at Dad. He knows that I, being only 20 months old, am quickly going to forget much of what we did at Disney World this month, yet he’s waited almost a week to let me on the computer to blog about it. I hope I get the details right as we delve into Day 1, during which we discover flying elephants and terrifying, huge-ass bears.

Outside the Magic Kingdom, some of my favorite characters arrived by train to open the park with a hail of music and brightly tinted confetti. Look, Mommy likes sparkly things! Notice our long-sleeved clothing, by the way. It may be Florida, but it’s still December. Also notice my face, which is still patient, open to new experiences, and not completely overwhelmed and cranky. See Days 4 and 5 for further clarification of this comment. At this pace, Dad should get to those posts around, oh, maybe April.

If anyone still forgot what month it was, the decorations gave it away. Here are thousands of people marching up Main Street USA to storm Cinderella's castle. (Torches and catapults would have been a nice touch, but they have this thing about discouraging injuries at Disney. Wusses.) Anyway, we were headed toward the castle, too, because on other side, Fantasyland awaited. And Fantasyland means…

…Dumbo. Sweet, sweet Dumbo, which turned out to be my favorite ride in all of Disney. Here, I’m checking out some preschool chick and impressing her with the graceful swoops and dives of my state-of-the-art flying elephant. I yelled over and asked her what she thought of my aerial maneuvers. She said, “You were in The Little Mermaid”? I didn’t get it.

Look at me on the carousel! I’m totally riding on my own. Seriously. Mom and Dad aren’t even on the ride. They’re like 50 feet away. No photo staging here at all. No sir.

Ah, yes. It’s a Small World. Apparently, it was redesigned a couple of years ago, so these days, not quite so many people are fighting the urge to drown themselves halfway through. It’s actually not bad, if you're into puppetry, animatronics, and feel-good diplomacy. Near the beginning, Dad actually whispered to me, “and here are two more countries that aren’t as great as America.” But by the end, he was all like, “I just love everyone in the whole wide world!” He was like Kofi Annan, but without all the coddling dictators, ignoring African genocides, and Oil for Food.

OK, this isn't one of my finer moments. It's just that I have this little stuffed Pooh who lives in my crib at home. At the moment this photo was taken, all I could picture was Pooh's crib, and the distinct possibility I was about to be put there forever. So I just focused on the swirly yellows of Mom's sleeve until the horror subsided.

 

As it turns out, Pooh does have a "crib," in the sense that he has a laid-back recreational area, where kids can climb and slide and parents can take a deep, reflective breath. As for me, this was about the only sliding I did, because I found a flight of stairs, and that pretty much occupied me until what seemed to Mom and Dad like the next day. Hey, lay off -- I like stairs, OK? Dad likes crappy music, but you don't hear me complaining about sharing blog space with that.

Of course, it was only a matter of time before the crankies kicked in. Mom was riding Space Mountain at the time, thanks to an obscenely selfish feature of the Magic Kingdom known as the "baby swap," which ensures that I -- the entire reason for this trip, mind you -- don't get to go on the coolest rides. Well, the coolest rides besides Dumbo. Man, I love that elephant.

Are you there, God? It's me, Nathan. Yeah, I just got up from my nap, and Mom and Dad hauled me back to the freaking Magic Kingdom for more overstimulation. We're having dinner in a few minutes, but they thought they'd get a little more riding in beforehand. Yeah, God, it's the Aladdin ride, which is supposed to be a thrillingly original experience, but it's basically Dumbo without the elephants. Pretty lame, actually. I mean, who's ever seen a carpet fly? That's just stupid.

We had dinner at the Liberty Tree Tavern, which was the first of several frankly outstanding meals we had to reserve months in advance. It took awhile, but I began warming up to the giant characters who kept visiting my table. You have to understand it was an adjustment, seeing huge versions of cute critters I had previously seen only on TV. It would be like Mom seeing a ceiling-high Tom Brady running a quarterback sneak right into our living room, or Dad visiting Miami and encountering a 10-foot Kat Von D waving a giant tattoo needle around. On second thought, they'd probably like those things. Except for the needle.

I'm not exactly sure why Dad wanted me to post this picture from dinner. Something about letting Uncle Jeff know that the pudding was outstanding.

You'll be happy to know that my good spirits had returned by nightfall, as we took a few more spins on some favorite rides, including the carousel and, of course, Dumbo. Enjoy my delightful expression while you can, though. You'll be seeing less of it as my vacation diary continues with the Day 2 installment, tentatively titled The Animal Kingdom Can Go Scratch. Let's hope Dad lets me get to it sometime this year.