Maverick Has Deep Thoughts, Too

Wow. Just look at him. Look at how happy he is. You know why he's so happy? Because they spoil him. It's true. While I'm walking around the yard trying to find a clear spot to do my business, Mom and Dad actually clean Nathan's butt off for him, apply powder and a soothing balm, and give him a fresh, clean diaper. Um, could he be any more useless? I mean, I'd like a touch of balm once in a while, too. It gets a little chappy back there. And please don't tell me I'm being silly -- it's rumored that Dad's first dog, Tiffany, used to have her rearward fur wiped with a damp paper towel when she came in from outside. That would be nice! And what's this now with the food? While Ripley and I are tossed a couple of semi-frozen turkey necks each morning, look at how Nathan gets spoon-fed! Um, I'd sure like my breakfast pureed and served to me like a delectable poultry smoothie! That would be cool! But no -- I know exactly where I stand in this family. And at the moment, I'll just continue to stand right here and wait for some rice cereal to drop on the floor. After all, I am not too proud to beg. Now, about that balm and powder...